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|Tuesday, June 1st, 2010|
|Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds
After not checking LiveJournal for quite a while, I returned and read Mark's post about contact staff. I then scrolled down and realized every other post on the page was a post made by twitter.
LiveJournal is almost dead. It is like a ghost town. The wind blows through the empty dust filled streets as the vultures circle above waiting for the last morsels left.
Occasionally if you look just right you will seem movement between the cracks. A phantom of the few posters that couldn't give up on their journals and continue to leave their "print" on the world through their projections made by the portal of another application.
|Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009|
Thoughts of redefining one's self. Thoughts of fleeting love. Thoughts of a man, alone, lost in his own thoughts.
He wants to be a part of something, but he is alone. He isn't a loser, he has friends. So maybe his work takes over his life from time to time.
Flashback... arguments with his "Ex".
Not being home on time and the mistake of forgetting an anniversary. Stretching thin, trying to please, just to hold onto a love that was never meant to be.
Despite the failings of his love life, he is successful. He makes a good living. He is a consultant and good at what he does. Always traveling, one day in New York and the next in Texas. He works as a "Project Manager", always helping companies move processing centers to some place cheaper. Anything to save a buck for the "Man". Once the center is established, his job comes to an end and he moves on. Another boss, another set of problems, another city. A never ending cycle of being needed, meeting new people, and leaving it all behind.
How can he break it? Does he want to break the monotonous cycle of perpetually leaving?
Sitting at the edge of the hotel bed, the TV playing some cheap adult flick, he thinks, "Why continue?". He gets up and picks up the remote, turning the room full of moaning into silence. He looks to his left, out the window. The sky is dark red as the sun sets for the evening. The hotel room feels confining and empty. He reaches over to the chair and grabs his black leather jacket. He throws it on and heads out into the night. Later that night he will be faced with the decision to ever return to that room again.
|Monday, November 16th, 2009|
|Monday, November 9th, 2009|
I am stuck in my head. I need out.
|Monday, November 2nd, 2009|
I was browsing through albums posted on facebook and I ran into a few of everyone hanging out in the hallway. It brought back memories of open doors and large groups of people hanging out to all hours of the night.
Looking back now, I realize there were a lot of things I did not take advantage of while I was there. Many of those very things I am participating in now.
Nostalgia is such a funny thing. It puts me back in that place and it makes me yearn to be back there. The problem is I know that I don't want to be there. Every experience in my life has built upon the last. I have grown through everything and there is no way I'd want to go back.
Thinking about it now, I realize how little I truly think about the past these days. My entire focus is on the present and future. I run hard all day trying to keep up with work, looking towards my next project/promotion. I come home and I try to learn the latest poi trick or spend time with Toni.
Every time I think of the past its wistful thoughts of what could have been, what never happened, and what was. They are such meaningless terms that only get in the way of what I am doing now.
I have never been happier with myself than I am now. I have never felt more confident in myself. Yet, despite all of this, I know there is more to come. More things to conquer, learn and experience.
The past can bite me. I'm a hundred times the person I was then. Every day I am creating experiences that put those old memories to shame. I am eternally grateful for the memories I have as they have contributed to the path that has brought me to this point now. I intend to continue down this path. Where life was scary to me at one point, it no longer paralyzes me. No matter what happens, I know that I am going to be in a better position tomorrow.
|Wednesday, October 14th, 2009|
I've found my past finding its way into the present. I feel like there is a message there. Maybe there is something that I've missed. Maybe there is a lesson I haven't learned.
Looking back, it feels like such a long time ago. I almost feel exhausted as if I've run a marathon and I am looking back over the race that I've run. Maybe I've been running. I feel it is a common theme in my life to run from things.
I've left many things behind. Were they left behind because I discarded them or were they left behind because we parted our separate ways.
I wish I could let everyone know that I've cherished every moment I've spent with them. Even though I am out of touch and so distant, if any of those that I've considered close were to call out to me in distress, I would be there for them.
I count myself lucky to have experienced and to have gotten to experience all the people and events that have occurred in my life. Thank you all for being a part of it.
|Friday, October 9th, 2009|
Ummmmm... Why did Barack Obama get the nobel peace prize? I don't get it and I feel my respect for the nobel peace prize slipping away.
|Tuesday, October 6th, 2009|
So... Wild Fire was amazing. I've learned a lot, got to experience a lot of very talented people, and overall had a great time getting way from every day life.
Next weekend I will be spinning fire in front of quite a few individuals for fall festival. I've gotten a few ideas and have been placing together a very loose routine.
I've noticed in the past I've gotten in front of people with no real plan and ended up doing a weave, a butterfly, spun around and made the basics look as good as I could possibly get them. BLECH!
My plan is three fold, I'd like to start slow, bring up the energy and then finish off the song with some moves that can be flare. I'm thinking of starting off with some tech, in the middle transitioning to fountain like moves with some lock-outs, and then finishing off with the typical weave and butterfly combos with a lot of foot movement.
Below is a list of moves/combos I've been throwing around for each part.
-Start off by holding the poi at my side
-Perform a straight down stall one after the other
-Enter my 90 degree stalls
-Bring the poi in a 1.5 motion on the wall plane from the 90 degree stall (I realized that this transition is extremely easy and very smooth)
-side weave to display the circles for audience
-bring the weave through to a full circle with fountain
-bring one circle of the weave in front and lock-out
-move the lock-out around in a circle (this one I need to work on, my control is not the best)
-bring left hand up in a floater, while bringing my right hand over the top in a circle. This should change the direction of my left hand into a butterfly. (I'm having trouble with this one, my left hand does not like the floater. I've found that I've been successful with my right hand into backwards butterfly, but I am more comfortable with the forwards butterfly. I will see how I feel when this weekend comes.)
-proceed with a thread the needle
-back into a weave where I can move around staging area more and turn around.
-break out of the weave into flowers/anti-spins
-focus on walking around, spinning/turning, and body movements.
I figure if I have a plan and a routine I can practice daily, I will look crisper than I have in the past where I've just gotten out in front of people and winged it. I find often times I get on fire and my mind goes blank. If I have a plan and I've reviewed that plan, I am less likely to forget.
|Wednesday, September 16th, 2009|
I went out to eat with Deanna today... We talked about the Fall Festival that we will be going to in Jim Thorpe. Apparently both Toni and I have been talked up as fire performers for the festival and some 300 people will be there.
I think back to the summer and how I got into fire spinning. I made an effort to be more social and outgoing. My goal was to convince people that my life was better than theirs. Not as a means to put others down, but as a means to fascinate them and bring them into a world of my creation.
I talked up my experiences, I talked up my friends, and weaved amazing stories for others. The truth is, they probably aren't bad stories. Maybe I've been telling them wrong all this time, but this summer I decided to have confidence in my experiences and stories.
The culmination of my efforts have left me being asked to perform with glow sticks at a club, a trip to Wild Fire, and being asked to perform at the Fall Festival. I can't wait. It will be a challenge for me, but one I am willing to conquer.
I like this whole business of being a charismatic character.
|Sunday, September 13th, 2009|
"Beware the engineers of society, I say, who would make everyone in all the world equal. Opportunity should be equal, must be equal, but achievement must remain individual."-Drizzt Do'Urden in R.A. Salvatore's Streams of Silver
|Monday, August 24th, 2009|
I spent the weekend at Jim Thorpe. I had such a blast. Kereoke on Friday, 9 mile bike trip and fire-spinning on Saturday, and a trip into town to look at the shops on Sunday. The hospitality was amazing, I've never been treated so nice.
We (Toni and I) spun for about 3 or 4 families on Saturday night. It started to pour so we cut it short, but there was a photographer there. Guy and Virginia (people we stayed with) said they would use a picture of Toni as a start of a wall of pictures going up the staircase. They are turning their house into a bread and breakfast and they wanted us to kick off pictures of events they plan to hold at their house. We may also get our pictures in the local paper.
We are invited back October 10th for a Fall Festival that they are holding. I can not wait.
Overall this was an amazing weekend.
|Sunday, August 16th, 2009|
This has been bothering me for months.
Every time anyone posts a youtube video, it always shows the previous youtube video that was posted. For example a few days ago Mark posted a video of Yuta spinning fire. Now Skippy posted a video of NIN and Rick Roll, but what I see is Yuta. The only way I can view the correct video is by clicking "view comments". It is very annoying.
|Tuesday, August 11th, 2009|
hmmm I've always been intrigued by the fact that a lot of my friends have been extroverted party goers, while I tend to be introverted. I always thought that when things have happened around me, I was just there for the ride.
Maybe something has changed or maybe I'm just viewing things differently, but I see now that I make things happen as well. I tend to surround myself with people who make things happen.
I've been giving my social muscles a workout lately. I've been watching intently on the social webs that those around me weave. I see the ones that work and those that don't. While I can't claim to be very successful at it, I feel like I'm beginning to understand how to draw others in by creating intrigue and excitement with every day events.
Firespinning has paid off already and has proven to be a great subject matter that always attracts people. Next skill I must learn while spinning is eye contact and being able to engage the crowd while on fire. My facial expressions on every picture I've seen have been horrible.
Hahaha I'm having so much fun exploring this whole new expanse of the world.
|Thursday, August 6th, 2009|
Someone at work offered me 100 dollars to spin glow sticks at a club for 2 hours. I said I would do it.
I'll see if he was serious. I'm interested in the details.
|Wednesday, July 29th, 2009|
|Tuesday, July 28th, 2009|
Put in my request for the first weekend in October off. I am planning on taking October 2-6 off. I can not wait.
|Sunday, July 26th, 2009|
Tickets for Wild Fire are purchased. Now I need to clear it with work.
|Saturday, July 25th, 2009|
Last night, I figured out the mechanics of the atomic weave. I hope I can remember them now that I am sober.
|Sunday, July 12th, 2009|
|Monday, July 6th, 2009|